Long time ago on her motherland, she told the world how she would be. It was something childish in her behaviour, but in the same time echoing a voice of a too quickly grown up orphan. Afterwards, she became a foreigner, a prisoner between the two worlds she unwillingly had to live in. Just like an organ rejection, neither ambiences truly accepted her, but there she was, laughing in the face of this unfair life.
Bars and clubs are not the places I am usually spotted in. Not at all, but on that evening I had to run away from home, because it reminded me of the failure of my happiness and how I destroyed yet another`s. Hence, I rushed in the closest crowded bar I knew and there I met her. She was mild and calm at first sight, her long dress, neither too shy nor too obscene. It was the type that would never show off or be in the centre of the attention, but she was waiting to be noticed by another who also did not succeed in being human in this ”human” society. I have never known her name, but instead, I liked to call her Lorelei. Jane would have worked as well, but not intriguing enough.
I glimpsed everybody around her, only fast images of sincere smiles and friendly words of love and affection. I was the one guy who did not have his social group near him so…I did not give a damn. After losing everything you emotionally had, you cannot act normal anymore. Every detail of your life, from the first to the very last, became strange-ish and you yourself evolve into a “weirdo”. Then all you have left is finding others just like you, considering that hopefully there are some of them.
By the time she spotted me as well, all my gallantry clustered and I was prepared to engage in a conversation. Lorelei saw me and nodded to me. Her blue eyes surrounded by overwhelming dark circles betrayed her with stories of the unpleasant things she had to do in order to survive, but we all have to do sacrifices. Before I could have said something to her, I understood her life. My Lorelei needed someone strong, a pylon in her life. If she made it so far, she could have managed to be happy again, with the right person next to her. And I was far from this, way off mark. When my lips were going to greet her by politely stating the conventional “Hello”, I just got frightened. So I backed off. For her, it was just another bizarre stranger, but for me, it meant a life-changing meeting.
Now, I realise one thing: on that particular day, it was the first time she existed for me. Awkward timing, it was also the first day when she was beautiful. I like to think of her as Lorelei, my love redemption, and I want it to stay that way. I like living in my head, I do like memories, and they are different from people. They cannot fail you and you cannot fail them either.